Sunday, January 24, 2016

Life plans....

Anyone else make a plan for their life only to have it fall apart and have to alter it to fit? That's where I'm at once again at the age of 33. My original life plan fell apart at age 19 and I had to start over again, since I was 12 I knew I was going into the military and I was going to retire at the age of 37 after doing my 20 years of service. I joined the Army, was in when 9/11 happened (stationed in VA) but had tore up my shoulder so I ended up being medboarded at age 19 after only 2 years of active service (4 years altogether because of DEP).

So at 19 I came home and redid it. I didn't plan on being pregnant barely a year later. During this time I readjusted. None of my Army skills seemed to translate into civilian life so I got a job as a waitress and then as a stocker at a grocery store (where I would meet my daughters sperm donor). At 20 I had my daughter and when she was 6 weeks old left her father who has had nothing to do with her since she was 2 and she's about to be 13 in June. When she was 6 months old I was told she had neurofibromatosis type 2 (at 9 after a trip to the NF clinic in Boston found she was misdiagnosed and actually had Neurofibromatosis Type 1). At this point I was still waitressing and bartending while my dad would babysit for me and my daughter basically lived with him because of all the hours I needed to work to pay bills. After I was in a car accident that nearly took my life 3 times and left me with a fractured neck,broken L1-L5 and a damaged liver among other things me and my dad had a long discussion about my life plan as I was sinking doing wht I was doing. There are other things that happened during these 3 years but I'm not going into detail on everything.

Fast forward a few years and in 2008 I moved up to NY to be near my family and forge a new relationship with my mom (that relationship is still going good today). I got a job as a CNA at a nursing home (yeah I got my CNA license as part of that redone life plan discussion with my dad)  and met my now husband there. Him and my dad encourged me to go to the LPN program and further my life plan that way. So I started the program in 2009 and graduated in 2010 7 weeks after having our first son. We got married in 2011 and moved back down to SC in 2013 (yes I'm skipping some things).

Fast forward to now and why I'm redoing my life plan. I've been a nurse for almost 6 years and never had any doubts about my abilities or skills as a nurse, that is until my current  employer instilled those doubts in me. Now I'm sending out my resume to other healthcare jobs but also looking into other avenues as I'm having doubts about myself so i think I might have to redo my plan in order to make it work and be able to support my family, afterall we did add that third and final child (a boy :-) ) in March 2014. 

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